Britney Wants To Get Laid

Britney Spears, who seems unaware that she has two infants at home in a closet playing with plastic bags, has been stepping up to the plate like a real champ.

Last night she hit Marquee in New York, and according to Page Six, "was partying like a college girl looking to get laid".

[At Marquee] sources said she was dancing with her girlfriends and "demanded all alcohol be kept far away from her."

But other witnesses weren't buying that.

"She must have been drinking secretly in the bathroom," said one, "Because she was falling all over the place. She was also chomping on lollipops from the bathroom all night, and she didn't leave any money for the bathroom attendant."

Spears' wild night then continued at club Tenjune, where she was seen arriving at 2:30am with a group of friends. "Britney was completely hammered," said a witness.

Again, the tank top-clad party girl asked that no alcohol be put on the table - but clubgoers saw her dancing on the banquettes and "drinking what looked like vodka and O.J."

Later, "A model guy came to her table and she started making out with him."

Hahaha, I bet that guy must have some stories to tell - I almost feel sorry for him.