Lindsay Kicks Ass

Lee Weaver has been Lindsay Lohans bodyguard for the past two years, but quit recently because it was too dangerous.

Not that the threats against Lindsay were too dangerous, but that Lindsay was too dangerous. Among other awesome things, the News of the World says Lindsay attacked a gun-wielding cocaine dealer for ripping her off, snorted line after line with Simple Life star Nicole Richie in a TEN-HOUR binge, and slashed her wrists with knives, sobbing that she "didn't belong on this planet".


She also enjoyed frenzied lesbian romps with scores of girls she picked up at parties — and even made a play for chart star Mariah Carey.

A direct quote from Weaver, "I have looked after some of the wildest stars in Hollywood — but never anyone as out of control as Lindsay is. She had a total death wish and took more drugs and drank more than anyone I've met”

Apparently the final straw came when she attacked a coke dealer.

“In April she asked me to take her to her dealer in Beverly Hills. I knew if I refused she'd go alone — so I took her. He was waiting for her in some bushes. Suddenly she started screaming and punching him for selling her short. He pulled a gun. I got out and he threatened to shoot me unless I got her to back off — but she kept hitting him. Luckily he got distracted and I punched him down. I dragged Lindsay into the car and drove off but she was screaming at me to go back. It was like Pulp Fiction. I knew then she was just too dangerous to be around.”


I’m telling ya this girls really starting to grow on me. Who knew she had more balls (apparently) then half of the seemingly gay guys who run Hollywood. This is the type of thing I half expected to hear from the supposed cool guys in the industry but no. Instead you’re Leo Crap-a-cocks and Matt Gay-mon’s are too busy looking at themselves in the mirror or at home raising or adopting a family. Meanwhile it’s the girls who are having all the real fun. And WTF is this bodyguard whining about? What did he think his job implied? Hiding in the bushes?!? Mate, go back to working in the mall. As for Lindsay, good for her.