Owen Wilson Is Pussy Wiped

"Owen Wilson was found bloodied and dazed after trying to commit suicide by overdosing on pills and slitting his wrist in the wake of a bitter blowup with a close pal", according to the New York Post. Now that's how you write an opening sentence! Bam bitches!

It's hard. He's such a wonderful person," one source said. "He's such a great guy and so smart and just... nice. We're just hoping he gets better."

The actor had been transferred to Cedars-Sinai from St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica after having undergone detox for the apparent pill overdose and surgery to his injured left wrist.

He will likely remain under the close watch of doctors for at least the next several days, one source said. There were no details as to what may have caused Wilson to go off the deep end, except that the incident occurred shortly after a vicious quarrel with an unidentified friend. But Wilson, 38 - who always appeared to be a happy slacker type - has a dark history of depression.

"It's very upsetting. People are complicated. It's not just one thing," said a friend of the actor.